Couple holding hands looking out at the water

Couples Therapy

If you're reading this, you or someone you know is likely struggling in a relationship. Relationships are hard work - but they can also be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. The key is finding the right support to help you through tough times. That's where couples therapy comes in.

Couple on beach

What is couples counselling, and how can it help with mental health?

Couples counselling online and in-person helps partners to talk about their issues in a safe and supportive environment. It can help couples to understand each other and their problems better, work through conflicts, and develop strategies for improved communication and problem-solving. It also helps you build stronger relationships by increasing empathy, trust, and support.

When should couples go for therapy?

Relationship-focused therapy can be beneficial at any stage. It is particularly helpful when couples have difficulty communicating, want to improve their relationship, or need help dealing with a difficult issue. Partners may also consider couples therapy if facing major life events such as marriage, pregnancy, retirement, illness, or other relationship stressors such as infidelity.  They might also benefit from therapy if they are in the process of separating, to help develop healthy ways of navigating a separation process.

Couple holding hands from across the table

How does couples therapy work, and what can you expect from it?

Couples counselling and marriage counselling involve both partners in the therapeutic process. Therapists begin with an assessment to determine the nature of the problem and how to best address it. The therapist will work within the relationship/couples therapy approach they are trained in (eg Emotionally Focused Therapy EFT, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy PACT, Gottman Method)  to help you and your partner resolve issues and develop strategies for building a healthier relationship.  Ultimately, you can expect greater understanding, improved mental health, and better communication within your relationship.

If you seek therapy, you’re taking a proactive step toward improving your relationship. Upstairs Counselling Services provides professional in-person couples therapy in Toronto and online across Ontario to help you reach your goals and build a stronger bond with your partner.

Check out the profiles of Ali and Todd and Yohama, three of the registered social workers at Upstairs Counselling who work with couples and book a meet and greet to get started!  Ali works with couples in both English and French language and Yohama is available as a couples counsellor for Latino couples who prefer Spanish for their sessions together.

What are the benefits of relationship counseling?

Relationship-focused therapy can help couples better understand their problems, learn effective communicating techniques, and gain greater understanding and trust within the relationship. Here are the main benefits of relationship counselling:

1

Improved Connection

Couples therapy helps couples learn to communicate effectively and without blame or judgment.

2

Increased Empathy

Couples therapy helps couples build empathy, understanding, and trust within the relationship.

3

Improved Problem-solving

Couples therapy helps couples develop problem-solving and conflict-resolution strategies.

4

Improved Understanding of Problems

Couples therapy helps couples better understand the source of their issues and how resolve them.

5

Strengthened Relationships

Couples therapy can help partners build stronger and more connected relationships.

Can couples therapy make things worse?

Couples therapy can be a powerful tool for improving relationships when done correctly and with the right expectations.  The focus of couples counselling is on  creating a safe, secure and healthy relationship.  Best success occurs when both partners are open to change and growth and willing to make efforts for the relationship.  There can be times and stages in relationships, however, when couples counselling may not be the best course of action for therapy.

Your therapist will initially identify your hopes and goals for counselling,  the dynamics and issues which bring you to therapy,  and determine with you whether couples counselling is right for you at this stage of your relationship.  They will work with you to develop the most effective therapy plan to support the issues you are currently experiencing.

Relationship therapy and marriage counselling can provide many benefits, including improved communication, empathy, problem-solving abilities, understanding of problems and strengthened relationships. Couples therapy can result in a more fulfilling and connected relationship when done correctly with the right expectations.

At Upstairs Counseling, our therapists help you find balance and connection within your relationships. Our experienced therapists can provide cognitive-behavioural therapy, conflict resolution skills, and emotionally-focused regulation skills to help you reach your goals as a couple. With our expert couples counselling services in Toronto, you can expect improved understanding and communication within your relationship, greater empathy, better problem-solving capabilities, a deeper understanding of your issues, and an overall strengthening of your bond. We understand that every couple’s needs are unique, and our team of professionals will create a tailored approach that fits your specific situation.

Contact us to find a relationship or family therapist today!

It is important to note that couples should always have realistic expectations regarding couples therapy. While it can be a powerful tool for improving relationships,  couples may need to also explore additional options to fully address issues that may be impacting their relationship.   Contact us today to get started on your journey with a therapist today.

Happy couple sitting on ground and chair

What is the success rate of relationship therapy?

The success rate of couples therapy depends on the individual couple and their expectations. Couples committed to improving their relationship and having realistic expectations can benefit greatly from couples therapy. In these cases, couples often report increased intimacy, better problem-solving capabilities, improved understanding of problems, and strengthening of their bond.  You may find that you and your partner, and your relationship, will benefit from some additional support if there are specific issues that continue to negatively impact the relationship. Consulting a couples therapist can help guide you to make informed decisions about how to proceed.

Upstairs Counselling in Toronto provides professional and caring couples counselling.  Contact us today to book a meet and greet with Ali and/or Todd to learn more about how they can work with you and your partner.

Close up of couple holding hands looking into distance

What is the most common problem addressed in couples therapy?

Couples often cite communication problems as the reason for seeking couples therapy.  Poor communication often leads to misunderstandings, which can lead to feelings of disconnection and frustration. Through couples therapy, partners can work together to build better skills, develop their understanding of each other’s needs, and create a more balanced relationship. Other common issues addressed in couples therapy include trust and infidelity, anger management, mental health issues, financial disagreements, balancing family life with career responsibilities and more.

Some common issues that can be addressed in couples therapy:

  • Communication problems

  • Anger management

  • Trust issues

  • Infidelity

  • Lack of intimacy

  • Financial disagreements

  • Stress from work or family responsibilities

  • Differences in parenting styles

  • Mental health issues in one or both partners

  • Substance use or abuse issues by one or both partners

  • Difficulty resolving conflicts

  • Sexual intimacy issues

  • Traumatic experiences from childhood that are having a negative impact on the relationship 

  • Differences in values, vision, goals and expectations in relationship

  • Feeling unheard, not seen, or dismissed

Where should couples therapy start?

Couples therapy will begin with reviewing the strengths and challenges in your relationship as each of you experience them and what you are both hoping for and expecting from the process of couples therapy.  Your therapist will facilitate a process of identifying both individual and shared goals of working together.

It is common for there to be one partner in the relationship who initiates therapy, and is the one most wanting to attend.  It can also be common for one person to be less inclined, or maybe even resistant, to the idea of attending therapy.  Your couples therapist will be used to this initial dynamic when working with couples and will facilitate a process that will engage both partners in the therapy.

Should you go to couples therapy before marriage or making another life transition decision?

Many couples choose to go to couples therapy before marriage or making another life transition decision, such as moving in together, having children or moving locations, as a way of preparing for the commitment they are about to make. Couples therapy can help them explore and better understand each other’s expectations and individual needs and gain insight into potential conflict areas in the relationship. These sessions can be incredibly beneficial for creating a lasting and healthy marriage. If you are considering getting married or making another life transition decision that you want some support in,  contact Upstairs Counselling today to book a meet and greet to learn more.

Couple leaning on each other by the water

What are some questions the therapist will ask in the first session?

In the first sessions of couples counselling, your therapist will usually ask questions about each partner's history, the past history of the relationship and how it affects the relationship now. The therapist will also ask about how each of you experiences the relationship now, and what their goals are for couples therapy.  Other topics will typically include current strengths and stressors, how you are currently coping individually and as a couple with stressors. Your therapist will work with you from the onset of therapy to resource you and your partner with realistic positive tools and perspectives that will benefit your relationship. 

What's the difference between relationship therapy and relationship counselling?

The terms relationship therapy and relationship counselling are also terms often used alternatively to couples counselling or couples therapy.  When two members of a primary relationship are in counselling together, as partners in a primary relationship, the therapy/counselling is for the relationship as a couple.  The couples counselling therapists at Upstairs Counselling, have specific training in working with couples (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method of working with couples, Family Mediation, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT).  Each of these approaches uses relationship and attachment based theory and evidence based practices to provide an approach that supports the health of your relationship.

You are welcome to book a meet and greet with Ali (English and/or French language), Todd (English language) and/or Yohama (Latino/Spanish language) to hear more about their particular approach in working with couples and to see how they can help you.

Happy couple with noses touching

How often should you go to couples therapy?

The frequency of couples counselling sessions will depend on each couple's individual needs and objectives. Generally speaking, couples counselling sessions can range from once a week to every few weeks.  Depending upon the couple’s issues, dynamics and goals, once they have the tools and perspectives in place to manage their challenges together, the couples counselling can be as needed or for less frequent follow-up maintenance sessions.  Ultimately, your therapist will be helping you as a couple to develop your own capacity to problem solve and work through issues together as they arise so that your need for the counsellor’s help will lessen as benefit from your work together.

No matter what type of relationship you have, couples therapy can help improve communication and understanding between partners. At Upstairs Counselling in Toronto, we provide couples counselling tailored to your specific needs – contact us today to get started!

When should you avoid couples therapy?

Couples therapy is not always the best option for every couple at every stage of the relationship. There can be times when individual counselling or other resources/support are the recommended course for therapy instead of, or in conjunction with couples counselling. The more your therapist understands your current situation and challenges, the better your therapist can speak to their recommended course for therapy. Reach out to one of our couples counsellors today to book a meet and greet for more information.

How much does couples therapy cost? 

The fee for couples counselling at Upstairs Counselling services will depend upon the therapist you book with and range between $150 and $165; you can check the profile of services for each therapist to see their specific fee. As registered social workers, our services are covered by most extended health plans and we will issue you a receipt upon payment for you to submit to your insurer for reimbursement.

Where can I find couples therapists?

Upstairs Counselling offers in-person therapy for couples in Toronto who seek therapy. If you live elsewhere in Ontario, you can contact our registered social workers for online, video/virtual counselling. Our experienced therapists have expertise in helping couples resolve conflicts and build strong relationships. They provide individual counselling, couples therapy and family counselling designed to help you learn effective communication techniques, resolve issues and build healthier relationships.

If you're looking for counselling to help your relationship, couples therapy can be a great option. Upstairs Counselling has therapists in Toronto who offer couples, marriage and family therapy in-person and online. Contact us today to get started!

Close up of man with book and book bag

What kind of credentials should couples therapists have?

Upstairs Counselling in Toronto recommends seeking out a therapist with a Masters Degree and registration with a regulatory body, such as the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (OCSWSSW).  In Ontario, registration with a regulatory college is akin to licensure; the regulating college reviews and oversees that the professional is credentialed, qualified, and practices within the professional standards and guidelines, prior to granting annual registration.

We also recommend you seek out registered therapists who have done additional training specifically in working with couples.  The social workers at Upstairs Counselling are all Masters level professionals, registered with the OCSWSSW, and all have received additional training specifically in couples training.

Woman working at laptop

What is unique about Upstairs Counselling's approach?

At Upstairs Counselling in Toronto, we are committed to helping you find the help and support you need.  All of our therapists are skilled and qualified and will work with you to develop an approach for therapy that is the right fit for you.   If, however, our couples therapists don’t feel like the right fit for you and your partner, or the logistics of Upstairs Counselling (scheduling, location, etc) don’t meet your needs, we would be happy to make referrals to other resources or colleagues.   We care about you getting the support and help you are looking for.

Couples Therapy at Upstairs Counselling in Toronto

Couples therapy can be a powerful and effective way to strengthen relationships. It is an investment that can bring about amazing benefits for couples looking for help. Upstairs Counselling offers professional couples therapy in Toronto, with experienced therapists helping couples rebuild their connection in a safe and supportive environment. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you in-person and online!